A more different blog

Saturday morning, I woke up at 6 am, the only day I get to sleep as long as I want to. Got up, ate a mandarin and looked outside the window at the beautiful snow on the ground and trees. I was thinking to myself. How can something so beautiful be so dangerous. Yesterday I was driving home from work and the roads were like pure ice, i was lucky that I didn't crash into a car, it came this close *-----* to happening. Still the snow is so peacful and glorious, just laying on the ground making it look like the purest thing on earth.

I came to think of how everything has 2 sides to it. Even my own life. Lately my life has not even felt like my own. It's like I'm living something I don't want to be living. It is as if I am in a opposite realm of my life. Everything I want to do, I don't do. And everything I don't want to do, I do. Now what to i do when life seems to have made a double back flip on me and I'm dizzy from the jump? My eyes cannot focus on what is close or far from me and I my own self is almost without recognition.

Am I that person who was on her way to a beautiful life, or was that a dream? Is this just a dizzy faze, will my focus ever become sharp again? I guess these are the times in life when the Lord is really carrying me, but it so feels like I'm walking all alone and the footsteps in the sand are my own.

One night a man had a dream.
He dreamed he was walking along
the beach with the Lord.

Across the dark sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene, he noticed
two sets of footprints in the sand,
one beloning to him and the other to the Lord.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him,
he looked back at the footprints in the sand.
He noticed that many times along the path of his life
there was only one set of footprints.
He also noticed that it happened at the
very lowest and saddest times in his life.
This bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it.

"Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you,
you'd walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the most
troublesome times in my life there is
only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why when I needed you most
you would leave me."

The Lord replied "My precious, precious child,
I love you and would never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffereing,
when you see only one set of footprints in the sand,
it was then that I carried you."